The Way of the Padawan

The way of this padawan is taking new turnings these days. Friday, December 27th, marks the official date that my divorce was legally finished. I really didn't expect to feel much different as I've been away for nearly a year and a half, but I was mistaken...

Can I say that I have not felt this unburdened ever before? I find myself smiling at everyone, even in the Walmart, and feeling so light! This I did not expect. I knew I was bound emotionally, working through codependency books, digging deep into myself trying to get a handle on my new life. Could it be possible that those words from the merciful, presiding commissioner* 'Your divorce is granted' are the key to my emotional health? May it be so!

I am truly looking forward to the future now. I still pray that one day, when the Merciful One deems it right, that I am able to have some sort of positive relationship with my adult son, but I am not suffering over it anymore. He has his future ahead of him, and I have mine.

Maybe this euphoric honeymoon feeling will end, but I'm going to revel in it for now and praise the One who brought me to this place!

That leads me to an analysis of this past year - 2013. It's been a time of major change: adjusting to a new living situation, a new car (yay!), a new camera (pretty purple!), getting used to working in the education system again and building a good reputation there, waiting (far too long...) and working through the necessary steps to dissolve the marriage, and mostly working my way out of codependency (not fun for my roomies or me).  We also got to travel during the Summer to some old and new places: Salt Lake City, Zion and Bryce Canyon, meeting Chuck's close friend, Jed, the Grand Canyon, a visit with our dear friends near Tucson, Disneyland (my first time), Hearst Castle, Joshua Tree, Lake Havasu,  Los Angeles, San Francisco, and our beloved Oregon coast. As part of our time with Trev and Lou, we all had tattoos done - mine is a small uniquely designed heart to remind myself that I am, indeed, worthy of love and to be kind to myself. As an aside, the only friends that matter are those who love unconditionally and without judgment, and I answer to One and only One for my life - He alone determines my worth.


So begins a new chapter in 2014. New travel adventures await (yay!). A full time job is in the works as well. Relaxing in my wonderful living arrangements and cheering my bestie on in her studies (that leads to some rockin' and awesome conversations!) will complement the year. I am so happy and so grateful! Baruch HaShem!


*there were some deficiencies in the paperwork - the attorney involved was less than competent in my view and that of the commissioner.