2017 - A Personal Reflection

I sit here in my favorite orange chair gazing on the grasses gently moving in the December breeze and the texture of the water as visiting ducks glide past my window. Reflecting on the pattern of the year that passes at midnight tonight, I see the texture the events of 2017 has wrought in my life.

A rough and weathered landscape ever so slowly being rearranged; shift some sand over there, a little less here, churn those pebbles a little more, see what rises to the surface.  Gouge out a whole section there and dump it up the beach aways! Pile some logs and debris up the bank a little more!

Yes, that describes the constant change in life over the last year. Yours, too, I imagine as we share the fact of being human. 

Always questioning...

Am I really in the right profession?
Can I make it through this evaluation process?
Teaching is far more complex than it used to be...
Dig in and just do the hard work - study, read, take notes, change perspective, go to meetings, plan, toss whatever is not absolutely necessary (whether real or imagined).
What?! Still stuck in those sabotaging patterns?!
Panic!!! Help!

Yes, as a matter of fact, I am in the right profession, though I could say a lot about the state of it at this juncture. Yes, I can make it through successfully! Doing the hard work is what it takes, and, yes, it is worth it as I am a stronger and better for it. Yes, I still get caught in old habit loops; who doesn't? What I do about it is what matters - stay stuck or mindfully examine and make the necessary changes that promote happiness and healthier relationships.

Really, this past year has been a tough one personally and professionally. Last school year ended on an unfinished and not-so-positive note, but due to hard work and the love and support of Liz and Chuck, I'm turning that around. Learning more about mindfulness practice and actually doing it, bit by bit, is having a profound impact in me, too. It is the single most successful practice I have found to change thinking patterns and behavioral habits. 

Highlights of the year:

• Liz graduating! And, she and Chuck moved to the beach for good!
• Short road trip to visit my mom in Idaho and hanging in Couer d'Alene for a bit.
• Beach walks and agate hunting.
• Reading... prolific reading both professional and personal.
• Bike rides on the less windy days.
• Gardening - love our lavender and rosemary and making our yard pretty.
• Sitting in the swing in the sunshine.
• Hosting a 'free' garage sale!
• Lunch with Jacob!
• A day in Poulsbo with Kris!
• Terra Cotta Warriors in Seattle.
• Liz and Chuck's invaluable help setting up and volunteering in my classroom (I've never had it so good)! 
• A group of 19 funny third graders.
• Each moment of complete awareness of what is actually happening now (sounds ethereal, but it isn't really!).
• Sunrises, sunsets, beautiful drives, street fairs, burgers at the Grizz, laughter and intellectual conversation with the best of friends!
• Discovering the value of my bullet journal (Bujo)! Thank you, Liz!
• The Last Jedi, Episode VIII!

My wish for the new year:

Let understanding triumph over ignorance,

Let generosity triumph over indifference,

And truth triumph over falsehood.